Thursday, June 6, 2013
Learning how to wait
I know it's been a while since I posted anything. The last time I did was when I started dating my boyfriend. The past couple of months have been great. I have never felt this way towards any man. I have never felt this deeply loved by a man. I just wanted to share what has been on my heart lately. I get scared at times because of the unknown. I can't see my future or what's going to happen in my life as a whole. When you see the picture of the road on my blog, it's a picture of the road I live on in Arkansas. You can look down the road, but you don't know what's coming. I think that is the way life is. Sometimes I frustrate myself trying to figure out what's about to come, but all the while it is to no avail. I need to wait. God is teaching me how to wait. Man, it is so hard. You know I feel like I've been waiting an eternity for my life to fall into place the way that I've always dreamed it would. I know, I am very dramatic, but I hate waiting. I know that it is for my good that I am waiting and that everything is being prepared for me, but sometimes I don't know what to do while waiting. I feel like I'm twirling my fingers at times and just looking around wondering what is going on. Now, don't get me wrong, I am constantly doing something, but a part of me is hoping that it's not a waist of my time. I honestly don't believe that it is, but, it has been hard. Now, you may be wondering what I am waiting on. Well, I'm a soul artist/ singer/songwriter and I've been waiting on just getting started in it fully. I see it happening and I can even touch it, but, I must wait. It's like when your mom is cooking this amazing dinner and you smell the aroma of it all and you can't wait to taste it and you go in the kitchen to see if she is done and she says not yet, it's going to be another hour and you feel like you are about to burst because you know that it is going to be sooooo good. That's how I feel. I'm excited about what's to come. God has already answered my prayers in amazing ways. I have waited and prayed for a man that will love me for me and love God and want to do what is right before Him and God has blessed my waiting by giving me a man that adores me. So, waiting does pay off. I will continue to wait and share with you what is happening as I wait and even when its time for me to move forward down the road, I will make sure I let you know about the journey I'm on. I hope my life and my journey is helping you in some way.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
God is smiling on me
As I'm writing this post, I have a smile on my face. I am so happy and encouraged by God. He has been blowing me away in just how He is showing me He loves me. If you don't know me, you would not understand the joy that I feel or the reason for it, so, I'm going to share with you about why I am so happy. I have been a disciple of Christ (living my life by the Bible and using it as my standard for living) for 15 years this year. I am 37 years old and I have been single, no boyfriend, for the past 8 or 9 years. In this time, I've struggled up and down with wanting a boyfriend, but no one came. That is until about 4 years ago. I've known Joseph for a long time, but he started trying to court me (yes, I love the old ways of dating, the pure way, God's way) a couple of years ago, but neither one of us were mature at that point or ready. We lost touch for 2 years and this past year we reconnected after some time.
I believe we reconnected for the following reason. I prayed the following prayer: "Father, I know that you are the one who holds my heart in your hand. You are my Father and I believe that you arrange relationships, just like the people in India and other places do, because, you know who is best for me. I don't know, so, I need you to take my heart and give it to the man you feel will protect it and represent your love for me here on this earth. Father, I trust you and know that you will give it to the man that you find is worthy of having my heart. I'm not going to ask you for any signs cause I always get confused in that, but you know what I need to see to know that it was you. In Jesus name, Amen"
And I left it and went about my Father's business. I didn't worry about a man or who it's going to be anymore. I surrendered it to my Father and kept focused on helping other women know Him. That is my heart, my single focus. I love my Father and I have come to the conclusion that if it is just me and Him that is all I would need because He is my portion and I do not want drama. Anyway, a couple of weeks later several people started mentioning Joe to me and how encouraging he was. Different people who I know did not conspire together to say "let's get Melika to start thinking about Joe." No! This was the work of my Father and I could see it. Then, Joe, out of no where, asked me on a date to go to his sister's birthday party. I was so nervous and shocked because we hadn't had a date in 2 years and now our first date is to a family's celebration. OMG! That was nerve recking to me. Anyway, I prayed and my Father helped me to see that it was ok and I could trust him and be vulnerable when we talked during our drive to New Jersey. It was one of my best dates ever.
After that, I prayed, "God, I'm feeling something. I wonder if he is too. Allow him to mention it to me first." A day or so later, he called me to tell me he liked me and then I could tell him I felt the same. ( I know, I'm so cheesy. My siblings tell me that all the time, but I like stuff like this.)
From there, we set up boundaries in how much we would talk and we planned dates and we were doing this for a couple of months. In this time, I was struggling with fear and trusting if this is from God, but, I had to let go of my fear and trust God. I could now see the different things His hands were doing because I know none of this is of my doing. I started to feel anxious because I was really liking him and not knowing where he was leading the relationship. I was talking to my girlfriends about him and everything. Anyway, last night, we had a date and as we were walking down the street, he turned to me and said that he has dated many women but he doesn't want to go on any of the dates anymore because he just thinks about me, so, he asked me at that point to be his girlfriend. I said I would think about it. (I know, I was wrong, but I like teasing him.) He gave me 10 reasons why he wants me to be his girlfriend and he read it to me before I gave him my answer. I was blown away. I am blown away. God is amazing and I am grateful that I am waiting on Him because He always knows what is best.
I believe we reconnected for the following reason. I prayed the following prayer: "Father, I know that you are the one who holds my heart in your hand. You are my Father and I believe that you arrange relationships, just like the people in India and other places do, because, you know who is best for me. I don't know, so, I need you to take my heart and give it to the man you feel will protect it and represent your love for me here on this earth. Father, I trust you and know that you will give it to the man that you find is worthy of having my heart. I'm not going to ask you for any signs cause I always get confused in that, but you know what I need to see to know that it was you. In Jesus name, Amen"
And I left it and went about my Father's business. I didn't worry about a man or who it's going to be anymore. I surrendered it to my Father and kept focused on helping other women know Him. That is my heart, my single focus. I love my Father and I have come to the conclusion that if it is just me and Him that is all I would need because He is my portion and I do not want drama. Anyway, a couple of weeks later several people started mentioning Joe to me and how encouraging he was. Different people who I know did not conspire together to say "let's get Melika to start thinking about Joe." No! This was the work of my Father and I could see it. Then, Joe, out of no where, asked me on a date to go to his sister's birthday party. I was so nervous and shocked because we hadn't had a date in 2 years and now our first date is to a family's celebration. OMG! That was nerve recking to me. Anyway, I prayed and my Father helped me to see that it was ok and I could trust him and be vulnerable when we talked during our drive to New Jersey. It was one of my best dates ever.
After that, I prayed, "God, I'm feeling something. I wonder if he is too. Allow him to mention it to me first." A day or so later, he called me to tell me he liked me and then I could tell him I felt the same. ( I know, I'm so cheesy. My siblings tell me that all the time, but I like stuff like this.)
From there, we set up boundaries in how much we would talk and we planned dates and we were doing this for a couple of months. In this time, I was struggling with fear and trusting if this is from God, but, I had to let go of my fear and trust God. I could now see the different things His hands were doing because I know none of this is of my doing. I started to feel anxious because I was really liking him and not knowing where he was leading the relationship. I was talking to my girlfriends about him and everything. Anyway, last night, we had a date and as we were walking down the street, he turned to me and said that he has dated many women but he doesn't want to go on any of the dates anymore because he just thinks about me, so, he asked me at that point to be his girlfriend. I said I would think about it. (I know, I was wrong, but I like teasing him.) He gave me 10 reasons why he wants me to be his girlfriend and he read it to me before I gave him my answer. I was blown away. I am blown away. God is amazing and I am grateful that I am waiting on Him because He always knows what is best.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
New Things!
I know that it's been some time since I posted but, here I am. I just wanted to share with ya'll how excited I am about this year. It has already started off great. I start recording my new single that will be released this spring and hopefully the album will be released this summer. (Yey!) The producers I'm working with are amazing! I am so blown away by God. Ok, now here is the next thing. I've started a TV show called "In the Living Room with Melika Miller". LOL! This is so funny to me because I've never imagined myself doing something like that. Now, everyone who knows me knows how much I love to talk and well, this is really going to be good for me. It's basically a talk show that I am doing to invite people who have inspiring lives that can encourage and bring hope to others. I'm also excited because I'm going to be working on a documentary this year and a TV sitcom that I think will be so funny. I am so unbelievable joyful about all of this. Now, this is a great adventure that I never thought of trying, but God has thought other wise and is with me on this path, so, here we go!
Now, personally, I've been building a great friendship with someone I've known for almost 10 years. It's been amazing and like a prayer come true. God is so thoughtful and has set this up so that I can see His hands in this. I have to share with you what happened!
First, we stopped hanging out and haven't been involved in each other's lives for over 2 years. Then, I decided to pray for a relationship and I told my Father to show me His hands in so that I would know it was Him and I'm not asking for any signs because He knows what I would need to see to know that His hands are doing it. Ya'll, let me tell you how He is showing me!!!!
He set it up for 4 different people to talk to me about him and how encouraging he was to them. One of my friends even suggested that he had feelings for me. I started thinking about all of this. None of them knew our history, but all of them were speaking well about him. Then, one day at our singles devotional, he asked me, out of the blue, to come with him to a function his FAMILY, was having. I almost screamed! It shocked me so much, but I knew it was God so I said yes. We had an amazing time together and had the chance to catch up on everything that has been going on in each other's lives. Currently, we are growing deeper in our friendship and becoming best friends. I can't wait to see what this chapter is going to be about!
Now, personally, I've been building a great friendship with someone I've known for almost 10 years. It's been amazing and like a prayer come true. God is so thoughtful and has set this up so that I can see His hands in this. I have to share with you what happened!
First, we stopped hanging out and haven't been involved in each other's lives for over 2 years. Then, I decided to pray for a relationship and I told my Father to show me His hands in so that I would know it was Him and I'm not asking for any signs because He knows what I would need to see to know that His hands are doing it. Ya'll, let me tell you how He is showing me!!!!
He set it up for 4 different people to talk to me about him and how encouraging he was to them. One of my friends even suggested that he had feelings for me. I started thinking about all of this. None of them knew our history, but all of them were speaking well about him. Then, one day at our singles devotional, he asked me, out of the blue, to come with him to a function his FAMILY, was having. I almost screamed! It shocked me so much, but I knew it was God so I said yes. We had an amazing time together and had the chance to catch up on everything that has been going on in each other's lives. Currently, we are growing deeper in our friendship and becoming best friends. I can't wait to see what this chapter is going to be about!
Friday, December 14, 2012
Like little Children
I love the holidays and the time that I get to spend with my family. I love going home to Arkansas, sitting around laughing and talking with them. Every year, we always cook a LOT of food and I'm usually the first one finished because I eat in spurts and get full to fast. I love my mom's cooking. I am so grateful for her. My favorite memories are with her in the kitchen and helping her make her sweet potatoes pies, a multitude of cakes, and lemon pies. I can't wait to see my nieces and nephews, especially the little ones. We love to sit and watch them open their gifts and play with them. It reminds us of the period in our lives when we were kids and did the same thing. They are so excited with whatever the gifts are and they instantly began to play with them. Grateful. That's the word. I've been thinking a lot about that and examining my life, my heart. Am I grateful for my life and where God has me? I go back and forth with that and with the new year coming I always reflect on what I did or didn't do and where I want to go in the new year and how I want to get there. Even with all of the thinking and planning, I still can not figure out my life or move forward unless my Father says so. I have been grumbling in my heart about not being where I want to be in my life. You may wonder, what are you trying to do about it? Sometimes, that mindset can frustrate you more because you think its your abilities that will move you out and you miss that it's not only about your abilities but about God's will. I want to be in God's will, but I think for a period of time, I've been walking in Melika's will. I have been unwilling to let go of what I want, how I want it and when I want it. It's like my fist have been clutched on this idea of what I think my life could be and anything other than that is not good. This thought is foolish. In reality, when I think like this(and I know I am not by myself in this), I am saying that I know better about my life than anyone (God) does. Wow, the pride in that. That is scary. God is the creator of us all and as His children, He knows what He has designed our lives to be. We forget that we are His children and start living like adults(making our own decisions based on what we want to do with our lives without consulting our Father to see if it is what He wants to do with our lives and when things don't work out the way we hoped they would, we blame Him even though it was a decision we made without His guidance.)
As, children, and that is who we really are, our Father wants us to approach Him like children. We are the clay and He is the potter molding us in who we were created to be. Jesus says that in order to enter His Kingdom, we must be like little children. Like my little niece and nephew on Christmas day, we have to be grateful for the gifts our Father give us no matter what the gifts are because everything He gives is out of love. Also, like little children, we have to trust that our Father has the best in mind for us and will not harm us so we can trust our lives to Him. This is the thought that I am walking in these days and hopefully this will help you if you are like me and like to know what's to come and handle everything on your own. We need to just chill out and rest in God. He has us.
As, children, and that is who we really are, our Father wants us to approach Him like children. We are the clay and He is the potter molding us in who we were created to be. Jesus says that in order to enter His Kingdom, we must be like little children. Like my little niece and nephew on Christmas day, we have to be grateful for the gifts our Father give us no matter what the gifts are because everything He gives is out of love. Also, like little children, we have to trust that our Father has the best in mind for us and will not harm us so we can trust our lives to Him. This is the thought that I am walking in these days and hopefully this will help you if you are like me and like to know what's to come and handle everything on your own. We need to just chill out and rest in God. He has us.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
A Serious Matter
When we look at society and say that it is a mess, we are saying that our individual lives are a mess. I am saying this because we make up the society we are in. If it were not for people, then there would be no society. Therefore, if society is in a morally bad shape, that means we as individuals are in bad shape morally rather you want to accept this or not. We all have a responsibility for the outcome of were this world is going. Until we take our individual responsibility, it will continue to get worse.
This all is coming to my mind because I live in the melting pot of society, New York City, and I am able to witness a lot of things. The world, as we know it, is coming to an end. We only have a little time left and we have to correct the wrongs we have done. The wrongs, the sins we have committed. We are looking at the consequences of the problem(sin) when we see all of the wickedness in the world. I hate to watch the news because it is constantly speaking about wars, rapes, abuses, murders, sexual immorality, homosexuality, impurities and the like. I can't watch a TV show without some sexual innuendo being use or them pushing that being gay is "natural" and something that is normal. Sin is sin. Sex outside of marriage is sin. Homosexuality is sin. Cursing, lying, gossiping, slandering, murder, evil thoughts, over eating, drunkenness, pride, conceitedness or arrogance, all are sin. This is so abundant in our society and many minds are blinded from this state. These things and more are the problems in our world. The solution for the problem is being in Jesus, following him, repenting of your sins and living for Him. This begins to correct the problem.
We try to use social professions to correct them all, but actually we just put band aides on them without truly healing the wound. If a person is not in Jesus, they will continue to be in sin rather a situation changes or not and it will continue to get worse in some form (inward or outward).
Punishments may be given out and you may even feel the consequence of your decisions, but the core of the problem will still be there if you don't repent of it.
Jesus says, "Repent or you will perish." This society is perishing because of the lack of repentance of our individual hearts.
I write this because I love you and I hope that we will all change so that we can be home with the Father one day. He is patiently waiting for us all, but His patience is going to run out one day, so, while you have the chance, please repent, confess your sins, and be baptized for the forgiveness of your sins so that you can receive the gift of the Holy Spirit which is a guarantee that you will have a place, in heaven, at home with our Father.
If you have any questions or comments about what I have written, please contact me.
Be blessed
This all is coming to my mind because I live in the melting pot of society, New York City, and I am able to witness a lot of things. The world, as we know it, is coming to an end. We only have a little time left and we have to correct the wrongs we have done. The wrongs, the sins we have committed. We are looking at the consequences of the problem(sin) when we see all of the wickedness in the world. I hate to watch the news because it is constantly speaking about wars, rapes, abuses, murders, sexual immorality, homosexuality, impurities and the like. I can't watch a TV show without some sexual innuendo being use or them pushing that being gay is "natural" and something that is normal. Sin is sin. Sex outside of marriage is sin. Homosexuality is sin. Cursing, lying, gossiping, slandering, murder, evil thoughts, over eating, drunkenness, pride, conceitedness or arrogance, all are sin. This is so abundant in our society and many minds are blinded from this state. These things and more are the problems in our world. The solution for the problem is being in Jesus, following him, repenting of your sins and living for Him. This begins to correct the problem.
We try to use social professions to correct them all, but actually we just put band aides on them without truly healing the wound. If a person is not in Jesus, they will continue to be in sin rather a situation changes or not and it will continue to get worse in some form (inward or outward).
Punishments may be given out and you may even feel the consequence of your decisions, but the core of the problem will still be there if you don't repent of it.
Jesus says, "Repent or you will perish." This society is perishing because of the lack of repentance of our individual hearts.
I write this because I love you and I hope that we will all change so that we can be home with the Father one day. He is patiently waiting for us all, but His patience is going to run out one day, so, while you have the chance, please repent, confess your sins, and be baptized for the forgiveness of your sins so that you can receive the gift of the Holy Spirit which is a guarantee that you will have a place, in heaven, at home with our Father.
If you have any questions or comments about what I have written, please contact me.
Be blessed
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Present moment
For the past couple of weeks I haven't been able to sleep much. I've been anxious in my thoughts and excited at the same time. It's a weird feeling. My heart is constantly racing and I try to calm myself down but I can't. My eyes are tired but my body is saying, "Let's go!" I am so tired. Even as I'm writing this, I am feeling the same way. I couldn't sleep last night either!. Ok, you may be wondering what is on my mind. Well, you know how you know something great is about to come, but you just don't know when. It's like the feeling you got when you were a little kid right before Christmas and you knew you were going to get your favorite gift but you had to stay in bed or else Santa Claus was going to put ashes in your eyes? (Yes, that's what I was told.) It's that same emotion.
Something new is coming in my career. I'm about to start my project with a couple of amazing producers who believe in what I'm about and just want to help me be the best. Only God could choose them and put this together and only God will make this great. I've written some songs that are going to move so many hearts. Ugh, I can't wait to hear the outcome. I think this is like giving birth or something. (Not that I know what that feels like.) Also, I'm pitching an after school program to two schools and I believe that the program will be in the schools in the next year. God has placed in my life people who know how to do programs and they have been mentoring me in this process. I have visions about where this organization is going to go and where my music is going to go and I just can't stop the excitement!
I'm also interested in a guy, I think. I always have to say that because I don't want to admit that I am because I don't want to get hurt but I know that I am interested in him. (Crazy right?) I don't even know what he feels or what he is thinking. I don't think he knows I'm interested in him either. I'm just trying to focus on the friendship. (Yeah, right! In my mind, I've already planned the wedding, know what type of dress I want, how my many kids I want and how they are going to look. Wow!) I am going to slow my mind down, enjoy the PRESENT and not live in the future. I have to learn how to live in the now. Jesus says in Mathew 6: 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
I have to put this scripture into practice. I need to have this embedded in my heart and mind at all times. I know the things God has showed me are going to happen but I need to learn how to enjoy each moment. I just pray that I'm able to sleep tonight.
Something new is coming in my career. I'm about to start my project with a couple of amazing producers who believe in what I'm about and just want to help me be the best. Only God could choose them and put this together and only God will make this great. I've written some songs that are going to move so many hearts. Ugh, I can't wait to hear the outcome. I think this is like giving birth or something. (Not that I know what that feels like.) Also, I'm pitching an after school program to two schools and I believe that the program will be in the schools in the next year. God has placed in my life people who know how to do programs and they have been mentoring me in this process. I have visions about where this organization is going to go and where my music is going to go and I just can't stop the excitement!
I'm also interested in a guy, I think. I always have to say that because I don't want to admit that I am because I don't want to get hurt but I know that I am interested in him. (Crazy right?) I don't even know what he feels or what he is thinking. I don't think he knows I'm interested in him either. I'm just trying to focus on the friendship. (Yeah, right! In my mind, I've already planned the wedding, know what type of dress I want, how my many kids I want and how they are going to look. Wow!) I am going to slow my mind down, enjoy the PRESENT and not live in the future. I have to learn how to live in the now. Jesus says in Mathew 6: 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
I have to put this scripture into practice. I need to have this embedded in my heart and mind at all times. I know the things God has showed me are going to happen but I need to learn how to enjoy each moment. I just pray that I'm able to sleep tonight.
Friday, November 2, 2012
The Aftermath
I've been full of emotion over the past days. Tropical Storm Sandy has come and gone, but the results still remain. I was not affected by it physically or materialistically, but I have been affected emotionally. I feel guilty. I feel guilty that I have electricity, food, and a home when millions of people are without. I know that I shouldn't and that I have nothing to do with this, but I am fighting to fight this feeling. Would I feel better if I had some issues happening to me? I don't think so. I am a complex person and I am really understanding that about myself.
I went to volunteer the other day with Red Cross in Long Island and I met this woman there who had no electricity and she was trying to keep herself together with the kids she had. She stood before me in tears and all I could do is hug her and whisper to her that this may feel like it's forever but it is not and for her to hold on. When we finished talking a cop came and told her about a shelter she could go to. That was an answered prayer.
I believe my Father has allowed these things to happen in hopes that hearts will turn to Him and not away from Him. While watching TV yesterday, the news anchor said the IPhone 5, without electricity, is like a rock you can toss in the water. He is right. I believe that God wants us to be truly aware of who He is and who we are and that everything on this earth is temporary and will perish. See how easy the houses were destroyed and the rampage the storm had in NJ and some parts of NY? God is powerful and He wants us to be aware of His power and turn to Him. He has been trying to get our attention in so many ways and this is one of them. He wants us to turn from our wicked ways and turn to serve Him completely with everything.
Remember that there is no one good but God and all of us have sinned and turned away from Him. We all need His forgiveness. He is the only one who can. He wants us to have a true relationship with Him and not be "religious". Religiosity has been leading many to hell and that is not where our Father wants us to go. He wants us to be with Him and to wake up from the slumber we have been in. I pray that Tropical Storm Sandy is a wake up call for many of us. I pray that, in the months to come, that many of us will draw closer to God and watch Him do great things in our lives and experience the hope, the love that comes from being in Him.
Paul said it this way in Phil. 4:12-13: 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry,whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
I pray that we learn and apply this "secret" to every part of our lives.
I went to volunteer the other day with Red Cross in Long Island and I met this woman there who had no electricity and she was trying to keep herself together with the kids she had. She stood before me in tears and all I could do is hug her and whisper to her that this may feel like it's forever but it is not and for her to hold on. When we finished talking a cop came and told her about a shelter she could go to. That was an answered prayer.
I believe my Father has allowed these things to happen in hopes that hearts will turn to Him and not away from Him. While watching TV yesterday, the news anchor said the IPhone 5, without electricity, is like a rock you can toss in the water. He is right. I believe that God wants us to be truly aware of who He is and who we are and that everything on this earth is temporary and will perish. See how easy the houses were destroyed and the rampage the storm had in NJ and some parts of NY? God is powerful and He wants us to be aware of His power and turn to Him. He has been trying to get our attention in so many ways and this is one of them. He wants us to turn from our wicked ways and turn to serve Him completely with everything.
Remember that there is no one good but God and all of us have sinned and turned away from Him. We all need His forgiveness. He is the only one who can. He wants us to have a true relationship with Him and not be "religious". Religiosity has been leading many to hell and that is not where our Father wants us to go. He wants us to be with Him and to wake up from the slumber we have been in. I pray that Tropical Storm Sandy is a wake up call for many of us. I pray that, in the months to come, that many of us will draw closer to God and watch Him do great things in our lives and experience the hope, the love that comes from being in Him.
Paul said it this way in Phil. 4:12-13: 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry,whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
I pray that we learn and apply this "secret" to every part of our lives.
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