For the past couple of weeks I haven't been able to sleep much. I've been anxious in my thoughts and excited at the same time. It's a weird feeling. My heart is constantly racing and I try to calm myself down but I can't. My eyes are tired but my body is saying, "Let's go!" I am so tired. Even as I'm writing this, I am feeling the same way. I couldn't sleep last night either!. Ok, you may be wondering what is on my mind. Well, you know how you know something great is about to come, but you just don't know when. It's like the feeling you got when you were a little kid right before Christmas and you knew you were going to get your favorite gift but you had to stay in bed or else Santa Claus was going to put ashes in your eyes? (Yes, that's what I was told.) It's that same emotion.
Something new is coming in my career. I'm about to start my project with a couple of amazing producers who believe in what I'm about and just want to help me be the best. Only God could choose them and put this together and only God will make this great. I've written some songs that are going to move so many hearts. Ugh, I can't wait to hear the outcome. I think this is like giving birth or something. (Not that I know what that feels like.) Also, I'm pitching an after school program to two schools and I believe that the program will be in the schools in the next year. God has placed in my life people who know how to do programs and they have been mentoring me in this process. I have visions about where this organization is going to go and where my music is going to go and I just can't stop the excitement!
I'm also interested in a guy, I think. I always have to say that because I don't want to admit that I am because I don't want to get hurt but I know that I am interested in him. (Crazy right?) I don't even know what he feels or what he is thinking. I don't think he knows I'm interested in him either. I'm just trying to focus on the friendship. (Yeah, right! In my mind, I've already planned the wedding, know what type of dress I want, how my many kids I want and how they are going to look. Wow!) I am going to slow my mind down, enjoy the PRESENT and not live in the future. I have to learn how to live in the now. Jesus says in Mathew 6: 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
I have to put this scripture into practice. I need to have this embedded in my heart and mind at all times. I know the things God has showed me are going to happen but I need to learn how to enjoy each moment. I just pray that I'm able to sleep tonight.
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