I feel like every part of my life, at this moment, is about waiting. Waiting on a career, waiting on a relationship, waiting on money, waiting waiting waiting. If you can not tell, I've been frustrated, irritated, and exasperated. (Wanted to rhyme a little.) But, I've come to understand that when I'm like this, I'm being impatient with God, irritated towards God, frustrated with God, and exasperated with God. This is scary! Who am I to feel this way towards my creator? Who am I to feel this way towards the one who loves me completely even when I'm feeling this way towards Him?
He is always working on my behalf. Always! He never stops working for my good. My situations have not been looking good, but that does not change who my Father is. He never changes. So, I'm learning a lot about waiting. In the waiting times, He is testing my heart to see if I will remain faithful towards Him, loyal to Him. We are in a relationship and He is loyal towards me so He wants me to be loyal towards Him. It is the least I can do. I have been thinking a lot about Abraham, Joseph, and David. Each one of these men had amazing callings on their lives and all of them knew that God had a purpose for them individually, but each one of the had to go through tests of their faith. Abraham had to wait 25 years to receive his blessing. Joseph had to wait 17 years to walk into his purpose and David had to wait for years to become king even though he was anointed. Each one had to suffer, go through trials so that their hearts, characters could be refined in order for them to be prepared to do what they were created to do.
Romans 15:4 says "For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope." HOPE. That is what Satan is trying to snatch away as we go through the waiting period. He is trying to steal our faith, but we must learn how to wait while our Father is at work. He tells us to wait quietly, patiently, and expectantly on Him. But, as I have said before, I have been waiting scared, doubtful, questioning His love for me when things don't go the way I want them to, and just forgetting what He has already done in my life. I'm amazed at the depth of God's love for me and how He continues to be patient with me as I learn how to wait on Him and be patient as He takes care of my life.
It's really silly when you think about it. It's like I'm being a little child telling my Father: "I want this now!" but my Father says, "No, it's not time and if you had it now it will hurt you, so you have to wait." I say, "No, I can handle it. I want this now! It's what I've always wanted. I think I'm at a place to handle it." My Father says, "I created you. I actually know you more than you know yourself, so, who do you think has the better judgement in this situation?"
It's crazy, but God is love. He has been helping me endure as I wait on Him to do His will for my life and I am excited about the plans He has considered for my life and the details that have been laid out for me. It makes me feel secure when I think about it this way and I feel safe in Him, in His hands, as I continue to WAIT.
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