Sickness

I've gone through some scary points in my life but one thing I have always feared is seeing my mom sick.  I know that sickness and death are apart of this life, but, when it comes to my mom, I am not ready for that yet.  A couple of months ago, she was diagnosed with breast cancer.  When I heard this, I was so numb at first.  Then, after the reality of it set in, I broke down crying.  I was so afraid.  Hearing cancer, in my mind, meant death because different people close to me have passed away from the same cancer.  I do not have the strength to watch her go through this.  I am to weak, to fragile to see this.

So I prayed and got on a flight home to Arkansas.  My goal for being here was to help her have fun and encourage her heart because, if I am going through these emotions, then she is experiencing them worse.  During our time, we went to Memphis to Stax Museum.  I have always wanted to go there with her.  We both love music.  She is the one who helped to put the love of music in me!  We enjoyed every moment.  Afterwards, we went to Beale Street to have food.  We stopped at this restaurant named Blues City Cafe and had this amazing dessert called Apple dumpling.  Ooohwe that thing was good!!  That was one of our high lights of the day.

Leading up to her surgery, we have had so many heart to hearts. She said to me one day at the table that she does not want to go yet and that she has so much more life to live, but if its her time to go, she is willing and ready.  Ya'll, it took so much for me to sit and have a conversation with her about something so intense.  I understand that we are not meant to stay here forever.  I get that.  I believe, right now, that I am not ready to say that it's over.  I've been praying for God to extend my moms life.  I've also been praying for the cancer not to spread and for the cells to be the kind that are stationary.  I prayed for the doctors to be able to remove all of the cancer and for her to just need a little radiation.

Ya'll, I hope this does not sound selfish, but I do believe I am one of God's favorites because He truly listens to me.  He truly answered my prayers.  She had her surgery last week and the doctors were able to move the tumor and she is going to need a little radiation.  I'm now praying for complete healing and for her to be able to enjoy the rest of her life without pain.  Thank you to any of you who are reading this and prayed for her and my family.  Thank you for loving us in this way.  I pray for many blessings over your life and an abundance of peace.
Love you.