Let's Go!

I've had an amazing couple of days.  This past Friday night I was able to perform in Bridgeport, Connecticut with a bunch of other people that is doing the Bridge Music campaign along with me. I was so inspired by everyone.  Now, here is the thing and this is my issue. I know that God has something amazing for my life because at every turn Satan is busy trying to attack me and discouraged me.  Leading up to the performance, I have been struggling with my insecurities and fears.  I fear what people think of me, what they may say about what I do or how I look.  I fear failure or success. I fear not knowing what I'm doing or doing something new and not doing it well.  I fear that I may not look good enough to be a singer/performer or that I'm to old to do this.  I fear, I fear, I fear!!!!! So, it's time to face my fears.  I can't stand being afraid of something and allowing it to hold me back. It is enough!

I am allowing my insecurities to come up to surface so that I can face them and not cover them up by fake confidence that has no foundation at all.  I have been praying to be everything that God has created me to be and I can't be that if I ALLOW myself to remain in my fears.  It's all Satan and his tricks.  I know that, but I have a power inside of me that is more powerful than he can ever be.  So, the other night my Father helped me to understand something about myself and about who He is.  He brought back to my memory the time when me, my brothers, my sisters and my cousins would run in the forest beside my grandparents house.  I would look at the wire and say, "ok, this looks scary, but I don't want to look like a punk or miss out on the fun so LET's Go!"  and I would go under the wire run and dart in the "forest" and just feel the adventure of the time.  God helped me to see that that is who I am.  I am not someone who looks at something and runs away or is immobile.  I look at it, examine it, feel afraid, but then say "LET's Go!"  That is who I am.  Now that I am in Him, he says "LET's Go Together!"

On Friday, I felt all of the fears, the insecurities, but I prayed and knew that my Father was with me.  I even started to feel jealous of some of the other artists because people were boasting about them and not me.  I started comparing myself to them, but I realized that that is of the flesh and when we boast, that is not of God but of the world.  God spoke to me and helped me to see that the only thing that matters is what He thinks of me.  He approves of me.  He has qualified me and called me. He has anointed me for a time like this.
I hit the stage, allowed my Father to use me and He was glorified through it all.  That is my victory.  I made Him smile and I am happy with that.  (Now I have to always pray about being humble because sometimes when things like that happen I think it's me, but then I remember my stomach aches and my prayers before hand and the feeling of His Spirit over me and that brings me back to earth.)

I went to the Village Underground on Sunday night.  Haven't been there in a long time.  I've been scared.  I realized how much I have missed singing in the open mics there.  It can be very intimidating.  When I walked in, I went up to the host and he spoke to me as if he remembered me.  I knew that this was God.  I had an amazing time and was able to sing and connect with many people. (I sing after a man who said he was the Cat in the hat and did a rap about it.  It was so funny.  I didn't know how to start the song after that one!)
So, I am learning not to allow fear, insecurities or my own thoughts about myself stop me from being great for God.  I am a light that is meant to shine to the world for my Father's glory.  This is my purpose.
LET's Go!!