Let's Go!

I've had an amazing couple of days.  This past Friday night I was able to perform in Bridgeport, Connecticut with a bunch of other people that is doing the Bridge Music campaign along with me. I was so inspired by everyone.  Now, here is the thing and this is my issue. I know that God has something amazing for my life because at every turn Satan is busy trying to attack me and discouraged me.  Leading up to the performance, I have been struggling with my insecurities and fears.  I fear what people think of me, what they may say about what I do or how I look.  I fear failure or success. I fear not knowing what I'm doing or doing something new and not doing it well.  I fear that I may not look good enough to be a singer/performer or that I'm to old to do this.  I fear, I fear, I fear!!!!! So, it's time to face my fears.  I can't stand being afraid of something and allowing it to hold me back. It is enough!

I am allowing my insecurities to come up to surface so that I can face them and not cover them up by fake confidence that has no foundation at all.  I have been praying to be everything that God has created me to be and I can't be that if I ALLOW myself to remain in my fears.  It's all Satan and his tricks.  I know that, but I have a power inside of me that is more powerful than he can ever be.  So, the other night my Father helped me to understand something about myself and about who He is.  He brought back to my memory the time when me, my brothers, my sisters and my cousins would run in the forest beside my grandparents house.  I would look at the wire and say, "ok, this looks scary, but I don't want to look like a punk or miss out on the fun so LET's Go!"  and I would go under the wire run and dart in the "forest" and just feel the adventure of the time.  God helped me to see that that is who I am.  I am not someone who looks at something and runs away or is immobile.  I look at it, examine it, feel afraid, but then say "LET's Go!"  That is who I am.  Now that I am in Him, he says "LET's Go Together!"

On Friday, I felt all of the fears, the insecurities, but I prayed and knew that my Father was with me.  I even started to feel jealous of some of the other artists because people were boasting about them and not me.  I started comparing myself to them, but I realized that that is of the flesh and when we boast, that is not of God but of the world.  God spoke to me and helped me to see that the only thing that matters is what He thinks of me.  He approves of me.  He has qualified me and called me. He has anointed me for a time like this.
I hit the stage, allowed my Father to use me and He was glorified through it all.  That is my victory.  I made Him smile and I am happy with that.  (Now I have to always pray about being humble because sometimes when things like that happen I think it's me, but then I remember my stomach aches and my prayers before hand and the feeling of His Spirit over me and that brings me back to earth.)

I went to the Village Underground on Sunday night.  Haven't been there in a long time.  I've been scared.  I realized how much I have missed singing in the open mics there.  It can be very intimidating.  When I walked in, I went up to the host and he spoke to me as if he remembered me.  I knew that this was God.  I had an amazing time and was able to sing and connect with many people. (I sing after a man who said he was the Cat in the hat and did a rap about it.  It was so funny.  I didn't know how to start the song after that one!)
So, I am learning not to allow fear, insecurities or my own thoughts about myself stop me from being great for God.  I am a light that is meant to shine to the world for my Father's glory.  This is my purpose.
LET's Go!!

No more Fear!

OK, I've been afraid. I admit it.  I've been running away from what I'm called to do.  You know when you have been told to do something, but you don't feel like you are qualified to do it or you don't have what it takes to get the job done?  That is how I have been feeling.  I was thinking about Moses the other day and how God showed him the burning bush and spoke to him and told him to go and free his people.  You know what Moses did?  He told GOD that he can't speak well so send someone else.  He said this to God!  God chose him because He knew He had created Moses for this task but Moses didn't know this.  God also promised to be with him wherever he went.  Yes, this was no small thing going before Pharaoh and saying Let my people go.  I can understand Moses' fear.

I'm realizing in my life that some of the things that God tells me to do will not be a small thing and may look scary, but God knows what He has created me for.  I don't.  He promised me that He will be with me always, so I have to stop using the excuses of:  "I can't talk." "They sing better than me." "I'm not that intelligent." "I'm not beautiful." "I can't talk to them because they have more money than I do." "If I said this, they are going to think I'm crazy." (These are just some of the things that run through my mind.)

I know that Satan is trying to hold me back by using the fear tactic.  He knows my Father's plans to and how amazing they are.  Psalm 33 says that God has a purpose for our lives and it stands forever.  Do you believe that?  I had to grow in believing this.

I just came back from San Antonio, TX.  I went to a conference called World Discipleship Conference.  It was AMAZING!  From the lessons, the theme that stood out to me was it is time for me to do what I was created to do and stop living in fear but to live in faith.  God is with me.  He is before me.  He has qualified me and called me and my hope is in Him and He will not disappoint me or allow me to be put to shame.

THIS JOURNEY IS ABOUT TO GET EVEN MORE EXCITING!

Love

It is 11:57pm here in New York and I just came home from a concert that included three of my favorite artist: Ledisi, Eric Benet, and Tamia.  It was AWESOME! I am so excited and inspired!  Everytime I go to concerts its like my school and I'm one of the students in the audience as my teacher(the performer) is teaching me something new.  Tonight was something that I will never forget.  I've seen Ledisi perform before and she never lets you down. She always gives herself completely.  A couple of years ago was my first experience with seeing her live.  I was feeling hopeless about my career and not knowing where my life was going with it.  I wanted to give up and I did not see God in it all.  When I went to the concert, Ledisi looked in the audience at me(in my mind she was looking at me) and said "Never give up on your dreams.  Look at my life and see what God has done."(I'm paraphrasing, but it was something like that.)  Anyway, I had to meet her.  She moved me and encouraged me.  So, I found out she was going to be on 125th the next day.  I went to meet her, had the chance to talk to her, and she signed my cd.  It was AWESOME!  I am excited about what God is going to do with my life.